Christmas with the Cullens
by ilovedraco45
Summary: Bella celebrates Christmas with everyone's favorite Mary Sue vampire family! Lulz, fluff, and family fun are sure to abound. For anyone who enjoys the Cullen family dynamic and their antics. Rated T for language/safety.
1. December 23rd

Christmas with the Cullens

A/N: Getting into the spirit of the season with everyone's favorite Mary Sue vampire family! Lulz and fluff will abound! Takes place in an imaginary…Christmas limbo after _New Moon_,but before Bella was turned. Enjoy, and happy holidays!

Disclaimer: Haaaa.

Chapter One – December 23

That first moment of waking up in the morning was always the best. I opened my eyes and glanced around my room blearily before shutting them with a smile, planning to sleep the morning of my first day of Christmas break away. Sighing contentedly, I rolled over only to be met with air. Wait…where was Edward? In a flash I had sat up and jumped out of bed. He wasn't in my rocking chair; he wasn't lying next to me. He was gone. My chest contracted and my vision grew fuzzy for the briefest of moments before I came to my senses. _Calm down, Bella_, I chastised myself. _He's just hunting. You'll see him this afternoon_. Pulling my hair away from my face, I sat back on my bed and waited for my heartbeat to slow, but it nearly jumped out of my chest when I heard an unexpected tap on the window. "Bella!" a voice yelped simultaneously, and I shrieked.

"Holy crow, Emmett!" I shouted. "Are you _trying_ to give me a heart attack?"

Emmett's hulking frame nearly filled the window, and it shook with his roaring laughter. "That was a _glorious_ jump, Bella," he cackled. "Now, take your human minute so we can get the hell out of here!"

I shook my head, pretending to be disappointed. "You just better be glad Charlie's left for work already." Charlie had gone to Seattle for four days as a consultant to the Seattle Police Department. He was disappointed that he couldn't be around for Christmas with me, but I had assured him that I would be fine. As I grabbed some clothes and headed to the bathroom, I looked back to see he'd drawn a fake moustache for himself on the windowsill and was proceeding to grin under it. Chuckling, I went to take my human minute.

By the time I'd changed into jeans, a tank top, a thermal shirt, and a pair of ski socks, Emmett had shimmied into my room and was sitting in the middle of my bed, bouncing lightly. A Santa hat perched atop his head, something that the frost had obscured from my human vision. "Ho, ho, ho!" he boomed, grinning. "Are you ready for your first Cullen Christmas?"

"Christmas isn't for two days, Emmett," I replied, pulling a pair of heavier boots out of my closet and tugging them on, along with a hat, coat, and gloves.

"Clearly, you have not been introduced to the concept of the Cullen Christmas," he mused. "I'll put it this way – Alice is in charge."

"Dear God." I shuddered, horrified. "Will I manage to escape without a couple thousand dollars worth of presents?"

"Probably not," Emmett smirked. "She's getting _really _into it – the only reason she didn't come get you herself is because she's still decorating the house. It's been almost six hours now. She wants to 'do Christmas properly' this year, whatever that means. All I know is that Esme's having a blast, Carlisle hasn't come out of his study all night, and Jasper's going to lose it any minute now with the amount of excitement and Christmas cheer she's been radiating."

I snickered in spite of myself, but I had to admit I was excited. Renee, scatterbrained as she was, had never been so good at organizing celebrations. Still, sitting next to our Kmart tree and eating doughnuts while we opened presents had always been my favorite thing to do with her. I confess – I love Christmas, and this one was bound to be unforgettable.

***

Emmett insisted on making me breakfast, so after I fought my way through a pile of pancakes we clomped our way through the melting slush to the Jeep. It had snowed two nights ago so most of the pretty, white snow was gone, leaving slush gray from car exhaust, but it was supposed to snow again tonight so no one was bothering to shovel their driveways. After making sure I was strapped in, Emmett blasted through the puddle of sleet in the gutter, giggling all the while, and headed towards the outskirts of town and the Cullen mansion. Forks was a dripping mess – icicles were hanging from awnings, telephone wires, and even the undercarriages of cars, and they were all melting fast. The Cullen mansion, for once, had fared no better – the lawn was riddled with patches of muddy snow and the driveway was a sheet of cracking ice upon which Rosalie knelt, carefully blow-drying the undercarriage of her M3 with the aid of an industrial extension cord. Surprised that Alice hadn't come bursting out of the house to fit my boots with crampons, I tried to open the door, but Emmett had removed the keys from the ignition, run around the front of the Jeep, and had me slung over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes before I could blink. "Emmett Cullen!" I hollered, feeling blood rush to my head. "Put me _down_!"

"No can do, Squirt," he boomed, laughing. "If you slip on the ice and break something, Edward threatened to dismantle the Jeep and get you to hide the pieces in La Push."

"Who says I'll cooperate?" I bellowed. "Just put me down, _now_!"

"Whatever you say, Bells," Emmett chuckled, setting me down gently on the garage floor. I stuck my tongue out at him childishly and untied my boots, setting them next to the door and entering the kitchen.

"Good morning, Esme," I greeted the matriarch of the Cullen family standing at the kitchen table.

"Bella, dear!" she exclaimed, wrapping me in a cold hug. "We're so excited that you could be with us for Christmas. Alice is in the living room, she's been waiting for you." I thanked her and headed into the living room.

The living room was so transformed that for a moment, I wondered if I'd taken a wrong turn. Alice had gone all out – pine garlands festooned the banisters of the staircase, crystal knickknacks crowded the mantle, and boughs of holly sat in vases on every end table. She'd covered the top of Edward's piano with fake snow and set up a nativity scene on top of it and, I'd noticed as we'd pulled up to the house, hung a gigantic wreath on the front door. The only part of the room that wasn't decorated was an empty corner on one side of the picture window. "Alice?" I asked, not seeing her.

"Bella!" she shrieked, popping up from next to a couch. The pompom on her Santa hat bounced as she flew over to me and flung her arms around my neck. "I'm so glad you're here, I've been decorating all night and I'm finally finished, what do you think?"

"It's amazing, Alice," I replied, awestruck. "You don't have a tree, though."

"We were waiting for you," she said, squeezing my hand. "Every member of the Cullen family must be present when we pick out and decorate our tree." I squeezed her hand in return, and she led me to the mantle. "Check out the stockings," she said, gesturing to eight stockings I hadn't noticed before. Each one was ornately decorated and was embroidered with a different Cullen family member's name: Rosalie's was red, Alice's was pink, Emmett's was a dark orange, Carlisle's was cream, Esme's was an eggplant purple, Jasper's was a rich gold, Edward's was forest green, and mine was navy blue, with _Bella C_ embroidered at the top.

I threw my arms around Alice, thrilled. "I love it," I gushed. "Thank you, Alice." Every time I pondered the fact that the Cullens were going to accept me into their family, my core warmed from the inside out, like I'd taken a huge sip of hot chocolate.

Alice smiled, and her eyes glazed over for the briefest moment before focusing again. "Emmett, if you throw that snowball, the window will shatter and Esme will get Rosalie to tear off a very important part of your body!" I heard Emmett curse in the yard and blushed, laughing. "Anyways…besides getting and decorating the tree, there's a bunch of stuff we could do today…Emmett really wants to go sledding or have a snowball fight and Esme wants to make Christmas cookies. What do you think?"

"When does Edward get back from hunting?" I asked.

Her eyes glazed and refocused. "He'll be back in two hours. In the meantime, I was thinking…maybe we could do some Christmas shopping?"

I groaned internally, but I knew she was right. I had put off shopping for Christmas presents as long as I could, and now the punishment for my procrastination was a trip to the mall with Alice.

***

Pacific Place Mall in Downtown Seattle would've taken four hours to get to by human standards, but Alice's Porsche and crazy driving got us there in two. As we parked and headed across the street to Nordstrom, we were hit with a blast of Christmas music and heat. "Where are we going first?" I half-shouted over the strains of "Jingle Bells".

"We need presents for Rosalie," she replied, taking my arm and directing me towards the escalators. _What do you get for a vampire who has everything and also hates you?_ I found myself wondering as we passed the cosmetics counters. Maybe I could get her a nice beauty basket? Alice shook her head. "Bad idea. Rosalie hates it when people buy her cosmetics, she sees it as the giver questioning her looks." We got off the escalator at the third floor: lingerie, women's formal wear, and designer collections. "The one thing Rosalie really wants for Christmas, besides a car, is a new purse," Alice said, as we stood in front of a selection of Chloe handbags. She very nicely let me pick one myself, and so Rosalie would receive a chocolate brown satchel with gold accents and a decorative padlock. Alice approved and moved on, picking out a black cashmere sweater for Rosalie and a red one for herself.

"Alice, this bag is almost two thousand dollars!" I yelped, finally checking the label. "I can't pay for this, and you guys can_not_ spend this much money helping me buy Christmas presents!"

"Look in her wallet," she said, not taking her eyes off the jewelry counter. I looked and found a platinum American Express debit card with my name on it, and a note from Edward which read, _Alice won't take you home until you agree to let us pay, and I want to see you as soon as I can. Love, Edward_. I groaned. Manipulative vampires. Alice and I paid and went back to Pacific Place, where I bought a large Civil War history book at Barnes & Noble for Jasper. Once we'd paid, Alice went to go look at the purses in Coach, and I made up my mind to get her a Victoria's Secret gift card. Concentrating on the gift card as hard as I could, I made a beeline for Tiffany & Co., where I found the perfect necklace for her. Set in yellow gold, a dark yellow citrine stone sat in the middle of three diamonds on a delicate golden chain.

"I'd like this, please," I said to the man. "Gift-wrapped."

"232 dollars miss," he said, and I handed over the card, ignoring the wrenching feeling in my gut. On the way out, I noticed a silver fountain pen with a caduceus clip, which I purchased for Carlisle. I thought he could use it when he was writing prescriptions. I'd already made my present for Esme, a book of my favorite recipes because of how much she loved to cook for me.

After a trip to the Mariners team store for a baseball signed by Ichiro Suzuki, it was time to find a gift for Edward. "Alice, I have no idea what to get him," I whined. "It has to be perfect, you know?"

She nodded. "Let me see…." Her eyes glazed and refocused, and she grinned and dragged me back to Pacific Place and Victoria's Secret.

***

"Alice, _no_," I exclaimed emphatically. "Couldn't I get him some sheet music? Or some nice cufflinks?"

"Isabella Swan," she said, "I have _seen _the future and it will end up _very _well and you are _getting this nightgown_."

"But…Alice, I can't even wear this in a room with a mirror! I'm way too uncomfortable!"

"Bella, compared to what I was going to get you, this is _very_ conservative. And if it makes you feel better, we'll get you a robe, okay?"

I looked at myself. I _did _want to dress like this for Edward one day. And a robe might not make it so revealing. "Okay," I agreed finally, and she cheered and hugged me.

"Come on, let's go home," she said, taking the elevator down to the garage. I fell asleep as we pulled onto I-5 and when I woke up, we were home.

***

As I opened my eyes, I was distinctly aware of a pair of ice-cold lips pressed to my forehead. "Edward?" I mumbled, smiling, and the lips lowered to meet mine.

"I missed you," Edward murmured, picking me up and carrying me over the ice to the house while Alice followed with the bags. Inside, the rest of the Cullens stood in the kitchen – Carlisle had come home from the hospital, Jasper had obviously been hunting as his eyes were very light, and Rosalie had finished working on her M3, showered, and dressed.

"How long were we gone?" I asked as Edward set me down on the kitchen floor.

"Four hours," Emmett replied, laughing, pointing to the clock on the kitchen microwave. It read 2:14 PM.

"No wonder I fell asleep," I muttered to myself, and Rosalie smirked. "Are we going to pick out the tree now?"

"As soon as you get ready," Alice said and the next thing I knew, I was holding a thick, wool sweater and a down jacket. Once I had donned them and Edward was satisfied that I wouldn't come down with hypothermia in the woods, we went into the backyard. Edward tossed me lightly onto his back, and the entire Cullen family ran, vampire speed, deep into the woods behind their house.

Five miles into the woods, Edward finally set me down. He, Carlisle, Esme and I watched as Alice and Rosalie sped off, looking for the right tree, and Emmett and Jasper started chasing each other. "I'm so glad you're with us for Christmas, Bella," Carlisle told me, smiling. "Esme and Alice are thrilled that they have someone to cook and shop for."

"Thank you, Carlisle," I replied, touched. "How did you celebrate Christmas when you were a human?"

Carlisle chuckled. "Funny you should mention that. When I was a child, Oliver Cromwell had banned Christmas celebrations in England and the British Colonies. I didn't get a proper Christmas until I left England and joined the Volturi in Italy."

"I'm sure the Volturi celebrate lavishly," I said, thinking back to the terrible day in Italy when I stood before Aro, Caius, Marcus, Alec, Jane, and the rest of the guard.

"Yes," Carlisle agreed somberly, but the mood was lifted by the sound of Alice shrieking "_I found it!_" There was a loud chopping and ripping sound, and Alice and Rosalie came back, holding the tree as though it were as light as a sheet of paper.

"Set it down, Alice, let us see it," Esme ordered. By now Emmett and Jasper had rejoined us, caked in snow and trash-talking each other about who had really won…whatever they were competing in. Alice obliged, and we all looked over her find.

It really was the perfect tree. Nearly fifteen feet tall, it had nice, thick pine boughs with no gaps or weird branches. I inhaled and smiled, surprised at how fragrant it was. In Phoenix, Renee and I had always had a plastic tree, and my first Christmas with Charlie neither of us had felt like celebrating. "It's perfect," I declared, and the rest of the Cullens agreed with me. Emmett grabbed the tree from Alice and ran back to the house, and she chased after him shrieking at an octave almost too high for me to register. Roaring with laughter, Jasper chased after them, and Edward rolled his eyes, threw me onto his back, and ran with them back to the house.

***

When we got back into the living room, Emmett had already set the tree in the stand. As I unzipped my jacket, my eyes lit upon something I hadn't noticed before – about ten large boxes of ornaments from all different eras, as well as at least five strings of lights. "Emmett and Jasper are in charge of the lights," Edward explained to me as Esme, Alice and Rosalie started frantically unpacking ornaments and Carlisle sat back on the couch, smiling to himself.

"Bella, come help!" Alice called, and Edward and I went over to help the girls with the ornaments. By now, Emmett and Jasper had finished the lights and Alice switched from unpacking the ornaments to directing the placement of them on the tree. "No, Emmett," she was saying. "You can't put two red ones next to each other!" Laughing to myself, I reached to pull a very old-looking metal bell out of some tissue paper when Rosalie slapped my hand away.

"_Don't_ touch that," she said. Edward growled at her as I rubbed my hand and tried to will the tears out of my eyes. Seeing that she'd scared me, her expression softened. "I'm sorry. It's just that that's Carlisle's favorite ornament – he got it in Boston in 1713, and apparently the oils in your skin will cause it to deteriorate somehow. I nodded, understanding that it wasn't my fault, but a traitorous tear still escaped and slid down my cheek. "I'm so sorry, Bella," Rosalie repeated, looking truly put out as she gathered me into our first, awkward hug.

I kept quiet until I knew I had calmed down. "It's okay," I replied. "I wouldn't want to hurt Carlisle's favorite ornament. I forgive you, Rosalie."

Satisfied, Rosalie pulled away and kept unpacking as Edward took me into his arms and kissed my hair. "I'm sorry, love," he murmured.

"It's okay, really," I said back, smiling at him. "I'm fine."

"I love you," he whispered, kissing me.

"I love you too," I whispered back, losing myself in his eyes for the briefest moment before running over to help Esme hang more ornaments.

After an hour, working at a combination of human and vampire speeds, all the ornaments had been hung. Everyone's favorite ornaments had their own special spot on the tree: Esme's crystal snowflake from her human home in Ohio, Carlisle's bell, Alice's high-heeled shoe, Jasper's plastic rendering of the Confederate flag, Emmett's blown-glass baseball and bat, Rosalie's mirrored prism, and Edward's multi-faceted crystal heart. My personal favorite was a bluebird made of blown glass, with eyes the exact shade of amber as Edward and his family. "Okay," Emmett said. "All that's left is the star."

"I think Bella should put it on this year," Rosalie offered up, surprising us all. "The youngest member of our family always gets to put it on."

Touched, I looked tentatively into Rosalie's eyes and saw no trace of hostility or jealousy. It had finally happened – Rosalie had accepted the fact that I was to become a Cullen. Beaming, Esme handed me the solid gold star and, sitting on Edward's shoulders, I placed it on top of the tree. By this time, night had fallen and the living room was dark. "Countdown!" Emmett shouted, and Jasper crouched next to the plug with the light cord.

"Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One!" we all shouted, and after "one", Jasper plugged in the Christmas tree. We all stood, mesmerized by the beauty of the lights. I hadn't noticed that Edward had let go of my hand and left my side until he started playing "Joy to the World" on the piano. We gathered around the piano and sang for around twenty minutes until my traitorous stomach growled.

"Feeding time for the human!" Alice crowed, and she ran into the kitchen at vampire speed, with Esme following at a more humanly pace. Rosalie and Jasper went to their rooms and Carlisle to his study, while Emmett sauntered over to the den and parked himself in front of the Xbox.

"Alone at last," Edward said, pulling me into his lap. I snuggled into his chest as he stroked my hair. "I haven't had nearly enough time alone with you today, love. I might have to steal you away after dinner." A moment after he said that, he pulled a face and sighed.

"What is it?" I asked, moving my head out from under his chin.

"According to Alice, we're all watching a movie after dinner." He grumbled to himself and muttered something at vampire speed, and I heard Alice's bell-like laugh trill in response.

"It's okay," I reassured him. "I love your family. Besides, we have this moment and all night tonight," I whispered, meeting his lips with mine.

We had been kissing for what seemed like both an eternity and a second when Alice put a huge plate of pasta on the coffee table in front of me. Pulling away reluctantly, I surveyed it. "It smells delicious," I said. "Thank you, Alice."

"Spaghetti with marinara sauce, grilled chicken and parmesan cheese," she chirped proudly, handing me a glass of water. "Enjoy!" The food was delicious and for once, I was able to comfortably finish a portion that a Cullen had served me.

Once I'd finished my food and managed to convince Alice and Esme to let me wash my own dishes, everyone had gathered in the den to watch _Home Alone_. I'd seen it a million times, but everything about the movie seemed nerve-wracking somehow. I didn't notice the smug grins on Jasper and Edward's faces until the first time the scary salt man came out and Emmett screamed like a little girl. "Jesus _Christ_, Jasper!" he shrieked over the family's roaring laughter. Edward reached over and gave Jasper a high five, and Rosalie and Alice would have been crying with laughter if it were possible. "You pull that shit every year," Emmett grumbled, but he was smiling.

"Okay, children," Esme chided, amused. "Let's watch the movie." The movie was as good as I'd remembered and by the end, Emmett and Jasper were seriously talking about rigging the mansion the same way that Kevin did to ward off the burglars.

I tried to stifle my yawn but Edward wasn't fooled. "Bed," he said. "Come on, let's go upstairs."

"Good night, Bella," Esme called as Alice took my arm and whisked me up to her room.

"It's a bit late for Bella Barbie, Alice," I yawned. "Can we do this tomorrow?"

"No, I forgot to give you the pajamas I got you," she said, tossing them to me.

I groaned. "Can't I just wear sweatpants and a t-shirt?"

"_No_," she said. "Now put them on." The pajamas were nice and simple, I had to admit – red plaid flannel bottoms with a white camisole. After taking my human minute, Alice hugged me good night and I went into Edward's room.

"Hello, love," he greeted me from the bed, where he was wearing gray cashmere pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt.

"Hi," I murmured, climbing into bed next to him. He wrapped me in a blue throw blanket and drew me to his chest. I inhaled his heavenly scent and sighed happily. "I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too, Bella," he said back, kissing me gently. "Now sleep." He started to hum my lullaby and I drifted off, completely exhausted from my crazy day.

A/N: Okay! So I've decided to make this fic three chapters: the 23rd, 24th and 25th of December. If you want pictures of the gifts Bella bought for the Cullens, just PM me and I'll send them to you. Any requests for gifts that the Cullens should give Bella should be submitted the same way.

IMPORTANT: I am not trying to offend anyone by putting a Nativity scene in the Cullens' living room or by having them go to church for a Christmas Eve service tomorrow. Since Stephenie Meyer is a Christian, it makes sense that the Cullens would be as well. I am not trying to proselytize or downplay other winter holidays, it's just how I picture the Cullens.

Please review, it can be your holiday gift to me =). I love you all, happy holidays!


	2. December 24th

Chapter Two – December 24th

A/N: Thank you for the favorites and reviews, they make me happier than you might think. A random little thing for you guys: songfics are one of my top FF pet peeves, I've always felt like it was lazy to put lyrics in your stories instead of just writing stories for yourself, but if I were ever to do a "LOL CULLEN KARAOKE" story, this would be my song that Edward sings to Bella: http :// www . youtube . com / watch?v=m54qM8nm9rg. Delete the spaces, copy and paste – it's _so perfect_, right???

Disclaimer: Fun Fact 1: Santa Claus is a member of the public domain. Fun Fact 2: _Twilight_ is not.

I woke up to a surreal light pouring in from Edward's window. "Whaz happening?" I mumbled, rolling over and whacking me nose on Edward's chest. "Ow."

"And a good morning to you, too," Edward chuckled, kissing my nose where I'd bumped it. I smiled, bringing my lips to his for a long, lazy kiss.

"What's that light?" I asked when we finally pulled apart.

"See for yourself," Edward replied, grinning. As I pulled back the covers and climbed out of my side of the bed, my feet landed perfectly in a pair of pale yellow cashmere slippers. _Alice_, I thought, rolling my eyes, before padding softly around the bed to look out the window at a completely white world.

It had snowed at least a foot overnight, something that was unheard of in Western Washington. The snow covered trees, the cars in the driveway and the mailbox. As I continued to look, I heard an almighty whoop as Emmett launched himself out the front door and swan-dove into a giant snowdrift. Completely covered in snow, he and Jasper emerged and began to plot something as they ran into the backyard, shouting and laughing the whole way.

Aside from the slippers, Alice had left me a pair of snow pants, a sweater in the same shade of pale yellow, a scarf, hat, and gloves, and my parka and trusty galoshes. I took them into the bathroom to take my human minute, and when I re-emerged Edward was wearing a pair of blue jeans and one of his trusty beige sweaters. "Esme has made you breakfast," he said, picking me up and carrying me into the kitchen at vampire speed.

Indeed, Esme had made me breakfast – a pile of waffles and a massive fruit salad. "This looks delicious," I said gratefully, and ate as much as I could manage. Feeling slightly guilty that a sizable portion was still on my plate, I thanked Esme and followed Alice and Edward out to the backyard.

"Careful," Edward warned me as I took my first step into the powdery snow and quickly ran out into the middle of the backyard. "Emmett and Jasper have been-" his sentence was cut short as I shrieked, feeling the ground give way beneath me and falling below the surface of the snow. "-tunneling," he finished weakly, as I found myself face to face with Emmett, who was looking at me through the hole in the snow.

"Hiya, Squirt!" he boomed, taking my hand and pulling me out with one hand and slapping my back to shake the snow off me with the other. Edward gathered me protectively into his arms as Emmett, Alice and Jasper nearly fell over laughing. However, Emmett turned his attention away from me as Rosalie stepped tentatively out the back door, wearing a fur-lined jacket, designer jeans and bare feet, followed by Carlisle and Esme. Startled, I looked around and noticed that all the Cullens were barefoot – _they aren't exactly going to get cold, Bella_, I told myself. "Rose, babe!" Emmett shouted, bounding over to her at vampire speed and planting a kiss on her lips. Rosalie giggled and then did something very out-of-character for her – she took a pile of snow and slammed it down onto Emmett's head. Shrieking with laughter, she tore away from him, pausing only to give Alice a high-five, but Emmett was faster. He caught up with her, took her around the waist like a football, and tossed her 10 feet into a particularly large snowdrift.

"Dammit, Emmett!" she screeched. "There's snow down my back! _Get him, Bella!_"

Surprised that Rose had chosen me to get revenge on her husband rather than Alice or Jasper, I picked up my own lump of snow and tried to run over to Emmett, but tripped and fell on my face almost immediately. Guffawing, Jasper helped me up and carried me over to Emmett, where I took his coat and shoved snow down it. "That was a bad idea, Bella!" he said, grinning evilly. "You'll have to pay!"

Taking me football-style, he didn't hear Edward shout "_No, Emmett!_" until it was too late. He let me go and I flew through the air.

It was as though time had slowed down. I saw everything happen in slow motion – Emmett and Jasper first laughing, then looking concerned, Alice smirking, Edward looking horrified and then running to try and catch me and, finally, Rosalie diving out of the way as I went right _through_ the snowdrift, landing on my back completely winded.

"Bella, are you okay?" Rosalie asked, first amused and then concerned when I could only gasp incoherently in response. "Edward!" she called. "Something's wrong!"

Edward was by my side in a flash. "Bella!" he exclaimed, horror-struck. "Bella, love, talk to me, what's wrong? Emmett, I'll kill you! Bella, Bella, come on, talk to me, are you okay?"

"That – that – that…" I wheezed, willing my breath to come back to me. Eventually it did and I jumped to my feet. "That was _awesome_, Emmett!"

Edward visibly relaxed, smiling. "You are unbelievable, love," he said as he kissed my forehead. "Come on, let's kick his ass."

I was carrying an armload of snow and Edward was carrying me and we were both chasing Emmett when Alice screamed, "_Hold everything!_" Everyone froze: Emmett mid-stride, Rosalie in the middle of putting up her hair, Carlisle and Esme by the back deck and Edward and I mid-throw. I was beginning to get scared that she'd seen something life-threatening when she got a wicked grin on her face and uttered two very dangerous words: "_Snowball fight._"

The teams were organized quickly and efficiently: Carlisle, Rosalie, Alice and Edward against Jasper, Esme, Emmett and me. At first Emmett was irritated that Alice and Edward got to be on the same team, but then Jasper reminded him how annoying it would be if the snowball fight turned into a mental battle and Emmett acquiesced. "Okay," Jasper said, gathering his troops – we'd named him general. "Esme, you start building the fort. Emmett, start stockpiling ammunition. Bella, you stay with me. We've got ten minutes until battle, _break!_" Esme and Emmett both ran to start completing their tasks, and Jasper slung a brotherly arm around my shoulders. "Bella, Bella, Bella," Jasper said, chuckling lightly. "You may just be our most important weapon in this war."

Jasper's plan was ingenious, I had to admit. I was to be the safe – the one person he would tell his plans to, because Edward couldn't read my mind. I was to remain indecisive up until Jasper gave me a signal and I relayed those plans to Emmett and Esme, giving Alice only a split-second advantage. Esme had set up an eight-foot fort and Emmett had made hundreds of snowballs by the time Jasper had finished telling me all of his plans and we rejoined them. "Okay," I said. "First action: Jasper, Esme and I will launch as many snowballs as possible to distract him while Emmett uses his superb tunneling skills to get behind enemy lines. Emmett," I said, turning to him. "This is your most important mission. You need to decide to do something else to distract Alice, and think X-rated thoughts about Rosalie to keep Edward out of your head. I'm talking disgusting, depraved things, things that are only legal in Mexico. Can you do it?"

Emmett jumped up from his squat. "I shall not fail!" he boomed excitedly.

"All right," I said. "Let's do this. _Vampires, ho!_" I shouted, and we began our full-fledged attack on our enemies.

(EmPOV)

I love when I can use my vampire abilities to wreak havoc. Having Alice and Edward be on the same team might be dangerous, but Jasper and I make nearly as formidable a pair. We complement each other. We both know when to take the lead and when to act as a sidekick, and we always have each others' back, especially when teamed up against Edward. One could say that we were the ultimate pair of bros. Whoops, I forgot that I was supposed to be concentrating on Rosalie. Oooh, like the time she kidnapped me and brought me to the middle of the woods and-

"Dammit, Emmett!" Edward roared, breaking me free from my reverie. _Stay out of my mind, Wardo!_ I thought back, as speaking would give away from my position. I could hear Alice bickering with Rosalie about the best attack strategy fifty feet above my head and smirked. Team Awesome, as I had dubbed us, was much more unified than Team Lameass.

Quietly, I began tunneling upward. Alice was so distracted by Jasper, Esme, and Bella's onslaught of snowballs that she didn't even notice me until I popped up between her and Rose and dumped snow on each of their heads. "_Surprise, bitches!_" I hollered managing to peg Carlisle in the face with a snowball before Rosalie came at me like a freight train, burying my face in snow and shoving handfuls down my pants. "Abort!" I tried to yell, but with my face in the snow it sounded more like "Abhmmmfphmmpfh!"

Jasper must have sensed my panic (or just heard Rosalie and Alice shrieking obscenities at vampire speed) because he hollered "_Forward!_" and Team Awesome came barreling toward Team Lameass, chucking snowballs the whole way. Rosalie tied me to a tree – _to Esme's favorite tree_ – I noted, ensuring that I wouldn't uproot the tree to attack them. My wife was very cunning when she wanted to be. It was pretty hot. I heard Bella scream in fright and Edward growl at whoever had managed to frighten Bella. Chaos reigned – snow flew everywhere, and the fight had turned from a team battle to an icy free-for-all. I chose to relax into the trunk of Esme's favorite tree and watch my criminally insane family battle each other with snow. This was better than reality TV.

(BPOV)

I was a fighting machine. I had just managed to simultaneously kick snow into the back of Carlisle's legs and peg Jasper in the face with a particularly large snowball when Alice shouted "_Freeze!_" Everyone froze – Carlisle crashed to the ground mid-leap, Edward was hunched over Rosalie shoving snow down her back, Jasper was riding his wife's shoulders, Esme was mid-stride, and Emmett was bound to Esme's favorite tree, laughing hysterically.

"What's wrong, Alice?" I asked, wanting to get back to the fight.

"If we keep fighting, you'll end up with a broken nose," she replied, tapping her temple knowingly. "Come on, let's get you inside."

I had been sweating from my vigorous snow workout, but as soon as Alice brought me inside I began shivering uncontrollably. "Its okay, Bella," Alice soothed. "We're going to draw you a nice bath, how does that sound?"

We had entered Rosalie and Emmett's bathroom, because they had the best tub – it was two feet deep, seven feet long and made of green tile that matched the floors and the walls. Alice poured in freesia-scented bubble bath, added a couple drops of essential oils, lit a few candles, dimmed the lights and left me to bathe in peace. As I stripped down and climbed into the tub (which was the perfect temperature – were the Cullens masters of drawing baths, too?) – I reflected on how happy I was that it was nearly Christmas and that I was spending it with my favorite people in the whole world…

…I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I had woken up, swallowed a large amount of water, and found myself sitting in a lukewarm bath. After toweling myself off and dressing in the soft blue-and-white striped pajamas that Alice had left me, I ventured down to the kitchen to see what had happened during my nap.

I stopped short at the doorway to the kitchen – flour covered the counters and someone had managed to toss an egg at the ceiling. Jasper's face was covered in a sticky sugar mixture, Emmett was laughing loudly, and Esme had pulled a tray of Christmas-shaped sugar cookies out of the oven. "Bella, dear!" she called, noticing me in the doorway. "Try one of these!"

I bit into it. It was perfect – buttery and sweet, with slightly burnt edges and a light dusting of sprinkles. "This is amazing, Esme," I said truthfully. "You are a master chef." Esme laughed and struck a pose with her spatula. "What time is it?" I asked.

"Ten past five. You were asleep for a long time!"

"What?" I heard Alice yelp. "How is it that late already? Bella, get up here!" I didn't move, knowing that a session of Bella Barbie was sure to follow. "_Pleeeeease, _Bella?" she pleaded in her best puppy-dog voice.

I didn't last a second. "I'm coming," I grumbled, jogging up the stairs to her room.

Alice's room was worse than I could have predicted. Rosalie, dressed in a simple turtleneck sweater-dress, was curling her blonde hair in front of the full-length mirror. Alice, wearing a black satin bathrobe, pushed me into a chair and brandished a large curling iron. "Hold still, Bella," she ordered. _Jasper must have taught her a thing or two about military presence_, I found myself thinking as she curled my hair and teased it into perfect waves. She applied smoky eye shadow and mascara to my eyes, smeared foundation and loose powder across my skin, stuck diamond studs into my ears, and tossed me a midnight blue bandage dress. "Put it on," she said, putting a pair of matching kitten heels on the floor next to my feet.

The dress fit like a glove, dipping in front to show cleavage and clinging to my hips. "Is it supposed to be this…tight?" I asked, looking at myself in the mirror self-consciously.

Alice beamed. "Oh Bella, you look gorgeous. You'll knock everyone out." Rosalie, who had finished her makeup (sparkly white eye shadow and bold red lips, giving off a snow-bunny vibe), nodded in approval as she zipped up her black boots and pulled on her black wool coat. Alice pulled on a pair of dramatically high-heeled silver platforms, pairing it with a dark red coat to keep up human appearances – the cold wouldn't affect her in the slightest. As she handed me a luxurious-looking cream-colored coat, we paraded down the stairs to a lavishly set dining room table. Rosalie hung her coat over the back of her chair, and gestured that I should do the same. On one side of me sat Esme, who looked very elegant in a forest green satin dress, with her auburn hair piled into a chignon at the crown of her head. Diamonds sparkled on her ears and at her throat, and she grasped my hand.

"My darling Bella," she murmured. "I'm so happy you can be here for this." I tentatively kissed her cheek and she smiled, and the boys entered from the kitchen.

As I got a look at Edward, I nearly fell out of my chair. He was dressed the same as Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper, in a pair of black dress slacks and a spotless white button-up shirt, with shoes that looked both expensive and handmade. His hair waved off his face flawlessly, and his topaz eyes were smoldering. "You look beautiful, Bella," he said, taking my hand and kissing it.

"I – you do, too," I spluttered, barely making sense to myself. How in the hell had I managed to get such a handsome fiancé with such an amazing family?

Suddenly, I noticed that each place on the table was set with nourishment – in my case, a cut of medium rare roast beef, potatoes, and a vegetable medley, and in everyone else's case, a champagne flute of blood. I had barely gotten over the shock that the Cullens were going to eat in front of me when Carlisle clinked his glass. "A toast," he intoned, and everyone stopped talking. "The breaking of bread with family is an important part of the day that our species is sadly deprived of," he began. "Therefore, we gather on Christmas Eve every year to honor that tradition as best we can. This year, we honor a newcomer to our table, Isabella Swan. Bella, we are all so glad that you have decided to join our family. You are truly one of my children now. To my beautiful wife and all of my wonderful children, thank you for making my existence less lonely, and much more exciting. Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas," we echoed, each taking a sip from our glasses (mine was full of water.) Carlisle's toast made me want to cry. No matter how happy the Cullens were that I had decided to join them, I would always be happier that they had decided to take me.

Dinner was delicious, though it was slightly odd to watch the Cullens tip back glasses of blood as though it was water. I kept my dizziness at bay by convincing myself it was V8 Splash, and managed to make it through the dinner without feeling faint once. After dinner, Edward led us all in another round of Christmas carols, and Alice and Emmett held several raucous games of Uno. The shouting, good-natured ribbing and cheers of victory continued until 10:45, when we gathered our coats, walked to Edward's Volvo and Rosalie's M3, and proceeded to Forks Prince of Peace Lutheran Church for the midnight service.

***

Prince of Peace Lutheran Church was a charmingly comfortable church. The oak pews had floral cushions on them, the alter table at the front of the room was lined with candles, and pine boughs decorated the walls. It was understatedly elegant and it made you feel at home, which was probably the idea. The service was nothing like church services on TV – it was mostly singing carols and reading the Christmas story passages from the Bible. When the time came to bow our heads in prayer, I was relieved to see that I wasn't the only agnostic in the Cullen family – while Edward and Esme had their heads bowed, and Carlisle not only had his head bowed, but his hands folded and was moving his mouth rapidly, whispering in vampire speed, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Rosalie were all sitting in respectful silence with their eyes closed.

The minister lit candles and we all sang "Silent Night" (I noted how all the Cullens managed to hold their candles as far away from themselves as possible), and then the minister said "Do you hear that? Jesus is present in the world. We are all receiving His divine light. Go now, have a Merry Christmas, and be thankful that Jesus is here to save us all."

"Amen," Carlisle murmured. I suppose since his father had been an Anglican minister he must have had a religious upbringing, but I'd never stopped to consider whether or not he was a practicing Christian – he certainly never went to church on Sunday.

As we drove home silently through the streets of Forks and into the Cullens' driveway, the wind whistled lightly through the pines and I snuggled into Alice's coat, feeling happy and safe.

Inside, we bid each other goodnight, and I saw the Cullens do something I'd never seen before: they all retreated to their separate rooms and shut the doors, as though they were humans and going to sleep. As I walked to Edward's room I could have sworn I saw Alice settle into an armchair at the head of the stairs with a heavy-looking bat, but it must've been a sleepy hallucination.

I took my human minute and groggily climbed into bed next to Edward. "Goodnight, love," he whispered, kissing a trail down my neck. "When you wake, it will be Christmas Day."

A/N: Woo! I'm actually doing well with this whole updating on time thing! Remember, kids: this fic is not trying to force Christianity on anyone. It just seems canon that the Cullens would attend church on Christmas Eve, and Christian things tend to happen at church (wacky, right?) Please review, you have no idea how happy your feedback makes me!


	3. December 25th

(APOV)

_Stay sharp, Cullen!_ I told myself sternly. _You are the sole line of defense between a family of raucous vampires and magical Christmas surprises_. I rolled my eyes. Jazz's war talk must be getting to me. Laughing to myself, I slapped the heavy bat I held into the palm of my hand, enjoying its weight. Suddenly, I flashed in and out of a vision – Emmett trying to take the stairs by force. "Don't even think about it, Emmett," I growled, and heard his whispered curse from his and Rose's room (whispered so as not to wake Bella).

Save Bella, none of the members of my adopted family could clearly remember having to try and sleep on Christmas Eve, so each Christmas one of us (usually me, Jasper, Edward or Esme) would sit at the top of the stairs and guard the tree and presents. A couple of hours passed and I thwarted another attempt by Emmett and another one by Carlisle, to my surprise. Apparently Jasper was bored and had made him a little overexcited, but I had to admit it was funny watching my father figure come barreling towards me, waving his hands and shrieking in vampire speed so Bella wouldn't hear.

At four in the morning, Jasper came out to join me, running his fingers through his hair in a way he knew made me crazy. "Hey darlin'," he drawled, slipping into his Texas accent as, in a flash, I was sitting on his lap. "How're you holding up?"

"I've been keeping the border secure from enemy forces; things should be quiet until morning," I joked. "Enemy combatant Emmett might try a surprise attack."

"Mmm," Jasper murmured, entwining our hands and playing with my fingers. "I love it when you use military lingo."

"Well, Major Whitlock," I whispered, "the troops won't be reconvening until 0800. Perhaps we could…discuss tactics." I wound my fingers through his hair and nibbled his earlobe and, like clockwork, he stiffened, shivered, and kissed me forcefully. I found myself sprawled across the chair on my back and giggled, not planning on moving until Emmett came out and found us.

***

(BPOV)

The sun filtered through the ice on the windowpane, bounced off Edward's mirror in prisms, and gently rested on my face. _It definitely isn't the worst way to wake up_, I pondered, remembering an incident involving Emmett, shaving cream, and an air horn. "Merry Christmas, love," Edward murmured, kissing my neck and wrapping his arms around my waist, spooning me.

"Merry Christmas," I whispered. "What time is it?"

Edward opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a loud thump and the sound of Emmett shrieking, "_Dammit, Alice!_" Edward burst into laughter, and I could hear Alice and Jasper join him in the hall.

Noticing my look of confusion, Edward filled me in, still chuckling. "Emmett was a bit overzealous about presents and he caught Alice and Jasper in a rather…compromising position."

My cheeks flamed, but before I could get too embarrassed over what had happened, Emmett pounded on the door. "Time to get up!" he bellowed. "It's _Christmas!_" Rolling my eyes, I got out of bed and stuck my feet into the yellow slippers someone had placed on my side of the bed again, tossed my hair into a tighter bun, and stepped into the hall.

I'd never seen the Cullens in sleepwear, but here they were, all decked out. Carlisle wore a simple pair of matching striped pajamas, Esme was wearing a pair of yoga pants and a green camisole, and Jasper wore a pair of plaid pajama bottoms. Gisele Bundchen would have wept if she'd seen Rosalie flaunting her figure in a short red satin slip accented with lace and a side slit, all the while staring daggers at Emmett who was gleefully sporting a pair of footie pajamas – pink fleece with a teddy bear pattern. Stifling my laughter, I turned to see Edward giving me my favorite half-smile in his cashmere pajama pants and white T-shirt, and was tackled in a hug by Alice who wore, despite her lavish tastes in fashion, a pair of Invader Zim boxer shorts and a white camisole. "Merry Christmas, Bella!" she squealed, lifting me onto her back. Before I had a chance to ask her what was happening, she screeched, "_Go!_" and seven sets of vampire feet thundered down the staircase at vampire speed, coming to a stop at the enormous Christmas tree.

The opening of presents was an extravagant event, and took several hours – Esme was in charge of distribution. "Here, Bella," she said, handing me a box that said _to Bella, from Rosalie_.

Inside was a silky-feeling nightgown, navy blue with a watercolor rose pattern and with light blue lace trim. "Thank you, Rosalie," I said with a smile, touched.

"There's more," she replied softly. "It might have gotten lost in the tissue paper." I pulled the tissue paper out of the box, shook it gently, and a necklace fell into my waiting hand. A silver pendant hung from a cable chain – a Mobius strip reading _my sister, my friend_ twice over to complete the circle.

"I love it, Rosalie!" I exclaimed, tears forming in my eyes as I hugged her. I had been overjoyed when she accepted me as a sister, and now I had physical proof. Esme handed me the gift I'd picked out for Rosalie, and she exclaimed and raved over the chocolate brown bag, throwing her arms around my neck.

The next gift was for Esme from Carlisle, delivered in a signature Tiffany box – a double-strand of saltwater pearls bound by baguette diamonds in platinum. Esme's eyes shone and I smiled as she and Carlisle embraced – she seemed like a pearls kind of person, but then, I thought of all mothers as a good fit for pearls. Carlisle loved the pen I got him, Emmett and Jasper were pleased with their ball and book, respectively, and Esme broke into dry sobs when she received her cookbook. "Bella, honey!" she exclaimed, her voice cracking as she pulled me into a cold hug.

Carlisle and Esme gave me a large journal bound in gold leaf and a fountain pen, to write my thoughts in for Edward. Jasper bought me some very cheap perfume as a joke, and a book of vampire folklore. Emmett wouldn't stop snickering as I unwrapped his bulky package and when the object was finally in my hands, I stared at it for a few minutes before responding.

"A…a hockey helmet, Emmett?" I asked, and he, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper burst out laughing.

"Oh come on, Squirt!" he chortled. "I even had it personalized!" Sure enough, on the back of the helmet read _Adoraklutz_, a term coined, no doubt, by Alice. Edward was pretending to be angry, but his eyes were full of amusement. Finally, I started to giggle.

"I love it, Emmett," I said. "I'm sure it'll come in very handy." He crushed me in a hug, and I pulled my box for Alice out from under the tree.

"Ooh, what could this be?" she asked, gleefully tearing off the paper and opening the velvet box. "Bella, it's amazing!" she shrieked, lifting the necklace out of its box and turning it so the jewel caught the light. "I'm so glad you didn't change your mind!"

"Wait, what?" I asked, my smile faltering. After all my hard work keeping my future blocked from her, she _still_ figured it out? Was there anything the pixie _couldn't_ do?

Alice grinned. "No, I didn't peek into the future. I looked at it when you had me bring the bags into the house." She slapped a kiss onto my cheek. "Thank you, sweetie. It's gorgeous." In return, Alice had gotten me a sterling silver "Best Friends Forever" necklace – one of those elementary school fad necklaces with the two connecting pieces of a heart – and a $5000 gift card to Simon Malls. "It's good for any store in any Simon Mall," she schemed, smiling wickedly. "And you have to spend all of it!"

Emmett pulled two boxes out from under the tree. "Merry Christmas, Rosie," he cooed as she tore open the wrapping paper to reveal a naughty Santa's Helper costume. Giggling, she arched an eyebrow suggestively at Emmett, who licked his lips in return. I blushed furiously as he handed her the next box, but all thoughts of the unspeakable things they were going to do to each other were immediately lost as Rosalie opened the lid of the Tiffany jewelry case. The necklace was, in a word, insane: diamond after diamond connected to a large diamond pendant in the front, from which hung a double drop of _more_ diamonds.

Rosalie's scream could have cut glass (I swear I saw the plate-glass window shake) as she leapt into Emmett's arms and kissed him with more force than I'd ever seen before. Emmett responded in kind and they might have ditched the presents and shut themselves in their room had Edward not cleared his throat very loudly and obviously. "Excuse me," he said. "But my fiancée needs to receive her gift!"

I opened my gift tentatively, as though the package would try to bite me. Knowing the Cullens and their penchant for splurging, my gift was bound to be incredibly extravagant, though hopefully not as extravagant as Rosalie's necklace. It probably cost what Charlie made in a month at the police station! Taking a deep, calming breath, I opened the jewelry box lid and nearly dropped it in shock.

A sapphire pendant was surrounded by tiny diamonds and hung from a silver chain. Inside the V shape the chain made, a pair of matching stud earrings glittered in the light from the sun and the Christmas tree. "I…um…wow," I faltered. Despite the fact that I hated for Edward to spend money on me, the jewelry _was_ beautiful, and it was Christmas, so I allowed a smile to creep across my face. "I love it," I said, planting a kiss on my vampire's lips. "Thank you."

The last few gifts were distributed, and the rest of the day was spent in the snow or, in Emmett and Rosalie's case, in their bedroom. Esme insisted on making enough gingerbread men to feed the pack and then some, Carlisle wrote medical notes with his new pen, and Jasper finished his book within two hours.

At the end of the day, Edward was waiting for me in bed while I took my human minute. Taking a deep breath, I looked at myself wearing the nightgown I had gotten for Edward as a Christmas present and imagined Alice giving me a pep talk in her head. _You're beautiful. You're sexy. He'll love it, go!_ Feeling as confident as I ever would be, I opened the door and stepped shyly into the room. "Merry Christmas, Edward," I murmured, blushing furiously. "Do – do you like it?"

Edward had tensed and his eyes grew wide. "Bella, love," he whispered reverently, "you look amazing. _Damn_," he added in tones I'm sure I wasn't meant to hear. Laughing softly, I made my way to the bed and sat on his waist over his prone figure, and leaned down to kiss his lips.

"I'll take that as a yes, then," I whispered as Edward growled his approval and flipped me onto my back.

***

_And I heard Emmett boom, as I turned out the light, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"_

A/N: Haha, there we go! This chapter was slightly shorter but for my family, Christmas is kind of over after the presents are opened. I hope you enjoyed it and it kept you in the spirit! Happy Holidays!


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